First, let me say that the shift in my perception and handling of this whole creating / writing / art thing has left me feeling relieved in a way that I've needed badly. I've been able to put things back into perspective and look at them from a distance instead of the red-eyed stressful haze of hurry, hurry panic I've been in ever since I started taking my writing career into my own hands. To be taken seriously as a professional I needed to be serious. I constantly felt like I was behind and needed to catch up in order to succeed. Needed to write more, better, faster. I'd get all worked up, produce a lot of inspired work very quickly, and then burn out to a frazzled mess unable to even look at my work without feeling like my brain was going to melt into a puddle at my feet.
Right now I'm at ease.
I found that once I slowed down, stepped back and stopped worrying, the authentic ideas started pouring out so fast I could hardly keep up. I'm calling them "authentic" ideas because I can't think of anything better to call them at the moment. Authentic to me as a person, not necessarily authentic in the grand scheme of things. I'm sure someone has done something similar at some point in history.
I wasn't inspired by them. These stories and projects genuinely reflect the way I approach and think about things. They're not plans for how to make more money. Not how to publish faster to keep up with other prolific writers who have found their success. Not how to reach more readers via advertising schemes, giveaways and other marketing blah blah. Yes, I'll still try things out from time to time. You can't create in a vacuum and you certainly can't run a business in one. But I'm not going to get wrapped up in it and I'm going to try to keep my focus on the creative work, because that's what really drives me and keeps me going.
For example:
I've started completely re-writing my About the Author section on this blog in a way some people might find a little unorthodox. It's not quite finished or cleaned up the way I like it, so it will probably change a bit when it's finally posted. Since I managed to pick up an extra day at my job this week I probably won't post the full Introducing Everyn Interview until later when I have time. Until then, here's a sneak peek at what I've been up to...
~*~
I started this blog on my 30th Birthday. Yes, that means I'm older than I appear. I think it's good to have a healthy dose of innocence and immaturity, even as an adult.
Every time I lingered over the "About the Author" section of my webpage, I got bored brainless halfway through reading. I knew I needed to change it, because if it was making me comatose, I was pretty sure no one else could stomach it either.
To remedy this, I've enlisted the help of a character named "Mouse" who I invented only an hour ago with my mystical, awe-inspiring Author Magic. Imagination is such a marvelous enigma of joy, it might as well be a superpower.
Somewhere in the void of my mind there exits a place that is both empty and full at the same instant. A figure manifests within - a shimmer, a haze. Mouse formed into this vacant world like a popped bubble in the sunlight. He's short and stick-thin, with a wild mop of auburn hair that curls over his ears and hangs low over his dark eyes. He has expressive and bushy eyebrows, a cunning smirk that hovers in the corners of his lips and he watches me examine my newest creation with a disdainful shrug of his shoulder.
“Can you pass me a mirror?” He says, his voice slightly gravelly and raw from it’s first use.
I sigh, knowing I’d created him slightly narcissistic and already wondering if that had been a mistake.
It figures his first thought would be of his own appearance.
I purposely dressed him in a loose pair of olive-green overalls that were rolled up to mid-calf, a black and white striped shirt that barely reached his waist and a wide-brimmed hat with brightly hued flowers that eagerly religious women sometimes wear on Sundays.
He stares down at his new and strange attire and his eyes widen out.
“That was cruel, even for you. Now the readers will be tainted with this horrible image of me from now on. First impressions are important, you know? What do I have to do to get a suitable dashing hero description out of you?”
“Continue to ask questions, for one. I’d like you to interview me for my new About the Author introduction. If you do a good job and you behave yourself, I’ll dress you or undress you however you like in whatever story you’re inclined to exist in.”
He purses his supple lower lip and ducks his head in contemplation, gripping the pastel splattered straw hat in one fist and yanking it off his head.
“Any story I want?” He finally asks, lifting a skeptical eyebrow.
“Sure.” I shrug, “You characters go and do whatever you want most of the time anyway. Just look at how Denora and Conner hijacked the story-line in Release! I had to add a whole other book to the series to get it all straightened out!”
“Oh please. You know you set that up! You’re like the evil puppet-master putting the pieces into place and sitting back to eat your bucket of popcorn while you watch it all unfold and implode in front of you. Don’t act so innocent. You know you love it.”
“More than you could possibly imagine, but the stories still sometimes take on a life of their own. Characters occasionally make decisions us writers don’t expect or know how to deal with. That can’t be denied.”
“Is that how you write your books? Just plop down some scenery, make up some tormented characters, then set them loose to run amok and give you a story?”
“Are you nuts?” I grumble, feeling slightly offended, “No, you’re goading me, aren’t you? Of course that’s not how it works! What a terrible story that would make. No direction. No plot. No point to care for the characters or their adventures. Sure, some characters are entertaining just based on their personalities. You could listen to them blather on and on about absurdity, but they’d still entertain you with their wit and their delivery.”
“Like me?” He grins elatedly, his dark eyes twinkling like a child who’d just won his first bet.
“I haven’t decided if I want you to be witty or not.” I respond honestly.
Mouse scowls and purses his lips, as if trying to stifle something that could end up causing him more harm than good.
“Go on. You know it’s eating you up, Mouse. Just say it.” I sigh, cringing as his tormented expression darkens and he turns away in shame.
“You don’t like me. You’re going to kill me off horribly, aren’t you?”
I laugh in disbelief - the kind that bursts out suddenly as you try to hold it in, so it ends up gurgling out like a pig snort from your nose.
“Even I don’t know how you’ll end up. I don’t like to plan that far ahead unless it’s detrimental to the outcome of the story. I try to leave some things open and loose so the characters have some room to grow and change, maybe let them show a side of themselves I hadn’t expected or anticipated. I find when I give characters some space, they usually end up surprising me in the best ways.”
~*~
That is only a small segment of what I've been working on. When I decided to start writing it this way, I felt like I'd been struck by lightning. Literally, my eyes lit up and I swore out loud in disbelief that it hadn't occurred to me before. It made perfect sense to write this way.
Before my realization last week, I wouldn't have pursued an idea like this. It wasn't really "professional" - not what a reader would usually expect to find when trying to learn more about an author. Yet I find, a conversation can reveal more about a person than a list of standard questions - and a conversation between a person and their own creation can unfold layers of hidden thought and meaning that perhaps you wouldn't normally find.
Maybe.
I could be completely full of shit, but it doesn't matter, because I'm doing it and it's FUN. I've also started posting more of my photographs to Instagram. I never really posted there much because I don't often take pictures on my phone and they make it pretty difficult to post from your desktop files, but I've found a way around it. I'll be posting some of my old pictures, some new ones, and some sneak peeks into my life and non-writing projects. If you're into that sort of thing, feel free to look me up and follow as I'll be doing a lot more on there in the near future.
That's all for now folks!
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