Wednesday, March 29, 2017

FML and other woes

THIS IS THE MOST HORRID AND HATED BLOG POST I'VE EVER BEEN FORCED TO WRITE... but I couldn't not say anything, so I'm going to keep it short and to the point.

Shortly after my excitedly optimistic last post we were struck by a serious family emergency. My husband was injured and was put on bed rest for the past three weeks. My life is currently chaotic. I'm still editing my ass off, but there's no possible way for me to finish by tomorrow.

I probably shouldn't even be trying, or feeling guilty, but I am.
Family comes first though.

I'll be back when I feel like I can show my face on the interwebs again without feeling like a slug.

Until then, my sincerest apologies.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Forcing my own hand...

Maybe, if I just blurt it out - quickly and immediately - I'll actually do it and won't have time to second-guess or talk myself out of it again... Oh, but wait! I'll still have until I finish typing out the rest of this blog post to change my own mind. *sigh* I can feel the cold feet already kicking out under my desk at this very moment!
I'm just going to do it - force my own hand, once and for all!
Here it goes:


I've had brain-splitting migraine attacks every day for over a week now. Before that, I was obsessively engrossed in plotting and writing out scenes for Firechild that were plaguing my mind like a rabid animal, refusing to let go until I did what it wanted. Firechild is totally the bratty older sibling (also like a rabid animal) who pretty much shoves its other siblings around until it gets the best cupcake with the most frosting, simply because its the biggest, the oldest and the most ruthless.😕
I kinda want a cupcake now.

But back on point, I had a good go at the final edits on Curse at the beginning of February before I did all that shit I mentioned a second ago - then I fell off again into the abyss.😢

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this book. I've analyzed my hesitance over and over for months, trying to get around this block. The story is there, it's written, and it's complete to top it off, since I wrote out the fifth and final book last year as well. I don't know if it's a sense of perfectionism kicking in, or dread that I'm in that sticky middle area where the story arc starts wrapping everything up that's been set in motion... rolling faster and faster down the slope towards The End.

Thoughts like "Are readers going to be happy / satisfied with how I finish things? Did I fuck this up? OhFuckingHell! Just stop now! Full STOP! What have I done????" which is followed shortly after by, "Stop being stupid. The story is great. I have this under control. No one will ever like it or not like it if I never finish the damned thing!" And so on, and so forth, into infinity.😉

So, I'm forcing my own hand. Once I've said it, I'm stuck holding to it and trying my damnedest to meet the date. I'm setting the release date for Curse as March 30th. One way or another, whether I feel like it's perfect or not, Curse will be made available on Amazon by that date. I'll try to have the paperbacks ready the same day if I can.

I did it.
Now to go hyperventilate in my bathroom.
Then shut off the wifi on my laptop so I can focus on the task at hand.

Wish me luck - and lots of coffee.
Always wish me lots of coffee. Always. 💗


Thursday, February 2, 2017

A New Curse Teaser To Whet Your Appetite...

Teaser Tuesday! 
Wait... what the hell? It's NOT Tuesday?
Okay. We'll roll with it anyway :D

Yes, this means Curse is underway. I'm tearing through the final edits right now and hope to have it ready in the next few weeks - so until then, let's have some treasers!!!

This week, I'm offering a snippet between Denora and a certain black tomcat *wink*

Without further ado, here is this week's sneak peek...

Saturday, January 28, 2017

A look back at 2016: The year that just plain SUCKED!

That's right, it's time for my yearly look into the recent past. This year I'm dreading it more than most, because as the title reads, and John Oliver said so perfectly with his sorrowfully amusing montage:
FUCK YOU 2016! 
You were awful, and I'm so very glad you're finally over.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system...
Yes, 2016 was a hard year for many reasons - deaths both celebrity and personal, political strife, fear, feuding and chaos that I won't get into here. War, destruction, cruelty... that list could go on and on.

But - this is my blog, so I'll keep it on point, and stick with my own personal reflections on my writing, my goals, and my failures from the past year.

As always, I've learned quite a bit. That in itself redeems this last year as not being an absolute gold-star-worthy steaming, fetid pile of shit. I experimented with new projects, platforms (Patreon, I'm looking at you!), and tried to expand the way I was viewing my work as a whole. That last part excites me tremendously, but it's more of a "you'll have to wait and see" kind of thing. I've got things planned. I plot and laugh maniacally. Trust me, I do. Trying to explain here would just be too confusing though, and at the moment I'm trying my best to keep this shit simple. Not kidding - it took me twenty-eight days to write this fucking blog post. I had to rip it apart in the end, just so re-reading it didn't give me a migraine...

But - I meandered off topic again. Let's flip this parade of words back a bit:

I wrote A LOT last year. Three books, several shorts, as well as bits and sections of several other novels that are in the works. I completed the first drafts of BOTH the last two books in The Crow Series, which was one of my major goals for 2016. At least I can check THAT one off... most of my other resolutions for 2016 went up in noxious, nauseating flames :(

I only managed to publish one thing : Release.
Despite the large amount of creative work I accomplished in 2016, my publishing ambitions were just beyond my reach. I intend to do better this year, especially since I have three books already waiting to be finished and unleashed upon the world. Muhahaha! Y'all are in for it. Seriously.

On the personal end, I did a great deal of self / soul - searching (I added "/soul" because saying I did a lot of "self-searching" sounded a little too dirty :P)

There were a lot of new things I tried  - and failed, and tried again, and probably failed at those too. I know I haven't stuck to my guns much the past few months, but it's hard to break out of old habits sometimes. Hiding, wallowing in failure, wrapping myself in other work to keep from wanting to smash my head into a wall EVERY TIME I think about all the writing I want to do and can't seem to manage...  Wow, that was a long, winding sentence. I'm not fixing it though. It conveys how I feel. Depression is a gaping hole that sucks you in. It takes a while sometimes to find your way back out. I've realized recently that it's cyclical for me, and other than coming to terms with my migraines (which are connected), learning my own emotional rhythms has been eye opening. As long as you keep trying, right? Just keep going until you get it right.

One thing I can tell you for certain is that I'm very excited for the coming year. I have big plans - they may all go down in flames too, but right now I'm looking forward to a new start in my writing life:
Wrapping up The Crow Series. Starting on new projects. Trying new things. Making new memories.
It's gonna be awesome.

Thanks for reading <3
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